Camping Jokes For Kids [Images, One Liners]
Here is the list of Latest Camping Jokes From Distenia –
Two hikers making their way through bear country come around a corner to spot their worst fear: a grizzly. Without pausing a fraction of a second, one of the hikers takes off running, prompting the bear to charge. Forced into action, the second hiker turns and sprints after the first. “What were you thinking?” he shouts. “You’re not supposed to run in a situation like this. You can’t outrun a bear!” “I don’t have to outrun the bear,” his friend shouts back over his shoulder. “I just have to outrun you.”
How do you keep your sleeping bag from getting stretched out?… Don’t sleep too long in it!
The seaside camping trip was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back
Teacher: Please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence. Student: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my sister was bringing on the camping trip, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable experience camping during the summer.
Which island of the coast of Africa does Dale Ernhart Jr. like to go camping?… MadaNASCAR!
The famous detective Sherlock Holmes and his best friend and partner Dr. Watson decide to take a break from their latest crime-solving efforts and go camping. After setting up camp and settling down into their sleeping bags, they drift off to sleep. Sometime later, Sherlock asks: “Watson, are you awake?” “Yes,” he says. “Look up at the stars and tell me: What can you deduce from them?” Sherlock asks. Watson thinks for some time before responding: “While someone may be able to number them, the stars are, for all intents and purposes, countless. Given the sheer number of them, it is reasonable to assume that some are suns circled by planets, some of which may be very like our own. There is a chance, however small, that there is life on at least one of those, meaning that we are not alone in the universe.” Holmes sighs: “Watson, you dolt. Someone’s taken our tent!”
Camping Jokes For Adults [One Liners, Images]
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday. “From what I hear about your aim,” said the Pastor, “It’s a sin for you to hunt any time.”
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. “What if we get lost?” says one of them. “Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour” says the other. “I saw it on TV.” Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour.
The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. “Why didn’t you do what I said?” asked the hunter. “I did! I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows.”
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 tents and another 2 tents and another 2, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking tent!”
Two guys are walking through a national park & they come across a bear that has not eaten for days. The bear starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this bear into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the bear is still chasing and he sees the bear on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the bear. As he comes closer to the bear, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
If you ever get cold while camping, just stands in the corner of a tent for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
Bob: “Holy crap, I just fell off a 50 ft deer stand.”
Jim: “Oh my God, are you okay?”
Bob: “Yeah it’s a good thing I fell off the first step.”
A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, “Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo.” The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said, “Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!” The boy answered, “I did! Today I’m taking him to the movies.”
Best Camping Jokes For Scouts
A child goes to his father and asks, “Father, how do parents think of names for their children?” The father answers, “Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?”
One time an adventurer paddling on a northern river got colt and lit a fire in his boat, only to discover that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. “I hope he’s not going to shoot at us,” said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, “Let us spray.”
One boy scout was on one side of the river and there was another boy scout on the other side of the river. One boy scout yells to the other boy scout, “How do you get to the other side?” and the other boy scout yells back, “You are on the other side!”
A young camper is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks him, “What are you doing in there?” He says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?” The camper says, “I tried that, but I got too dizzy.”
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, “You’re crazy! You’ll never be able to outrun that bear!” “I don’t have to,” the first lawyer replied. “I only have to outrun you.”